Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
