we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
