i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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