did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
