my mouth tastes like poor choices
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
