I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
