I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
