The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
