I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you never un-have a 4some
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
