this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
