Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
