he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
