I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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