I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
