i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
