im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
