drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
