what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
