whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
