I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
