HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
