I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
