is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
