i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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