when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
