Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
