I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
