Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
