carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
