I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
