i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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