The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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