I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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