I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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