3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
