You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
