:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
