forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
