somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
