I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
