So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
