your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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