We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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