If i come over, it means nothing
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
