I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Too much gin, very little bucket
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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