For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Enjoy the penises
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize