Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
