On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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