Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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