1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
