Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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